We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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