yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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