goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
bring money and cleavage
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
