took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
