his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
