This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
