Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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