I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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