Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
