I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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