They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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