I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
