i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
