the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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