Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
