i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
