yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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