my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
