I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
