I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
