this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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