I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
