I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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