I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Randomize
