I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
