I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
