I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
