is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We are two peas in an std pod
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
