You're my little dorito
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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