you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
