when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
