So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
