I think im going to throw up on grandma
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
