Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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