I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
