How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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