theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
