She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
