piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
