The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
