trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
