just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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