So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
