i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
