He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
