Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
