I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
