Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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