Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
