Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
