Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
