Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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