There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
