I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
